January 2, 2014: "I keep my eyes always on the Lord. With Him at my right hand, I will not be shaken." Psalms 16:8
Two weeks of rest. That's what the last 13 days were supposed to be. It was Christmas break and I pledged to take a true break from anything related to school. I expected to feel like a new person after the break. I'm sad to say that I don't. I'm sad, but after the way God has begun to break through the hardness of my heart, I'm not without hope. Maybe it's best to say that I'm scared; scared that I won't be ready to resume my work schedule, my responsibilities, my life. I'm worried that I won't effectively take what God is teaching me and put it into practice. I'm nervous I'm going to fall right back into a life of fret, unrest, and frustration.
God has put my heart at peace over this break, even if my body is still weary. Will I reflect the new thing He is doing in me? Or will I appear to be the same, exhausted girl I was when I locked my classroom door 13 days ago? Part of that depends on what I choose to do. Will I choose to stop and thank Him frequently throughout the day, acknowledging the blessings He has rained down on me? Will I choose to focus on the King of Kings and the Prince of Peace rather than my circumstances? Will I get quiet before Him so that I can hear the voice of my Shepherd? And let's get real for a moment…since I know that I am most susceptible to the enemy's schemes when I'm exhausted, will I choose to stop and rest when I need to?
Tomorrow I start back to work and feel unrested and unprepared for the work ahead. I'm struggling with how to pray tonight, God. Please hear my heart even though my words are failing me. Thank you for being faithful. Thank you for loving me. Thank you that your grace is sufficient. Amen
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