June 20, 2013: "I keep my eyes always on the Lord. With Him at my right hand, I will not be shaken." Psalms 16:8
I’ve become a student of God’s character through this journey. And along the way I’ve learned a lot about myself too. I have a habit of reflecting too much sometimes, but that’s simply how I’m wired. One of the self-discoveries I’ve been making is that I work very hard at compartmentalizing things (emotions, events, even relationships). So when I first jotted down a list of things I believe God is teaching me, I had two very distinct compartments for peace and strength. These are two of the most profound insights I’ve gained during this ride, but have lacked words to articulate what I’m learning. I attempted to capture some of what God's teaching me about peace in my last blog.
It hit me today. While it is true that I am fully relying on His strength, AND that He is the source of my peace. I haven’t been able to separate them because this journey has woven them so tightly together that one cannot exist without the other. When I am at peace, which John 14:27 and John 16:33 promise, I am fully enveloped by the presence of my Savior. And when I am surrounded by the magnitude of Jesus, I am strengthened to face worries I could never face alone. And I’m not just talking about physical strength, although this surgery and recovery have certainly zapped me completely of that.
I write today, so grateful that God sent my sister to help restore my strength. She has been here the last few days and I am overwhelmed by the joy, the healing, and the strength that have taken place while she has been here. I thank her, of course, but I credit God for providing exactly what I needed at exactly the time I needed it. In Psalms 31, the writer pens my heart, “But I trust in you, O Lord. I say, ‘You are my God.’ My times are in your hands.” Of course He knows exactly what I need. And of course, it’s always before I’m aware.
Both of my daughters sent me verses before they left for camp, and they are some of my favorites. One verse my youngest sent is, “The name of the Lord is a strong tower; the righteous run to it and are safe.” (Proverbs 18:10). It’s not among my favorites because I consider myself righteous (I don’t), nor that I can run right now (I can’t). It’s precious to my heart because it reminds me in my time of weakness just who my Strong Tower is. When overwhelming winds seem to seek to topple me, I am safe in the shelter of my Strong Tower. Thank you, Lord. Thank you.
One verse my oldest daughter sent is, “But He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” (2 Corinthians 12:9). A favorite because it so isn’t about me, or what I can do. It’s not even about getting stronger day by day (which I am thankful for!). It’s about God getting the glory in my weakness. Is He getting that? Oh, I pray that He is! Lord, keep me as weak as you need to, to accomplish Your purpose. During my weakness, continue to envelop me with a gratitude for peace. And as I gain strength from You and the people you send, like priceless meal-makers and a precious sister who loves so well, keep my heart grateful. Amen.
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