I’ve heard it said that the hardest lesson to learn is that of waiting. I’d like to take this opportunity to say that I have done a stellar job of failing to learn that lesson. Maybe it’s because it takes patience, which I’m lacking in. Perhaps it’s because I like to (pretend to) be in charge of things, and I’m just not. I’ve heard of nightmare experiences of people waiting two hours to get out of a stuck elevator, four hours in a packed emergency room, and fifteen minutes in the express line at the grocery store! I’ve also learned sweet lessons from friends who have waited years for a pregnancy, countless months for the final adoption papers, and far too many sleepless nights to hear of the safety of a loved one fighting overseas. So when I hear the word waiting, I instantly get restless. I’m so grateful for a God so personal who has chosen to teach me (once again) to wait on Him.
In my first entry I mentioned that I was scheduled for surgery May 24 and we watched that date come and go. What I didn’t write about were any of the why’s. I’m recording the timeline of some of the events purely for my future reference. If anyone else cares to read it, have at it.
March 29: Dr. appointment resulting in orders for echocardiogram and MRI (God’s word to us: “Wait.”)
April 4: MRI #1 (God’s word to us: “Wait.”)
April 5: MRI #1 results inconclusive; referral to neurologist (God’s word to us: “Wait.”)
April 10: Echocardiogram (God's word to us: "Wait.")
April 15: Results of echocardiogram were good; first appointment with neurologist. More MRI’s scheduled. (God’s word to us: “Wait.”)
April 17: MRI’s #2 and #3 completed (God’s word to us: “Wait.”)
April 22: Follow up appointment with neurologist; MRI results conclusive; referral to neurosurgeon (God’s word to us: “Wait.”)
May 2: Appointment with neurosurgeon #1; surgery scheduled for May 24 (God’s word to us: “Wait.”)
The waiting on the days that followed became more and more challenging. As our surgery date approached, God flooded our hearts with peace, but each day also became known as “X number of days” until surgery. (Not a fun way to keep a calendar, I must admit.)
May 16: Pre-admission tests at hospital #1 (God’s word to us: “Wait.”)
May 19: Finally begin to make the upcoming surgery general knowledge and we are completely ready! (God’s word to us: “Wait.”) We are comforted by the knowledge that the wait is almost over!
May 20: God plants the very first seed of worry in my heart and I begin to pray fervently that He will remove the fear or make it clear how to proceed. 20 minutes later friend from hospital #1 calls in tears begging us not to go through with the surgery based on information she had just learned about my neurosurgeon from a very respected, very trustworthy source. (The frenzy that took place in our lives that day was fairly impressive.) Surgery cancelled; appointment scheduled with neurosurgeon #2. (God’s word to us: “Wait.”)
May 30: Appointment with neurosurgeon #2 (peace returns); surgery scheduled for June 7. (God’s word to us: “Wait.”)
June 3: Neurosurgeon #2 calls to enthusiastically explain that the biggest fear, the greatest risk, the reason neurosurgeons hate this surgery has been potentially eradicated because of what he learned just after we left his office on May 30. This new knowledge, he explained, could conceivably change the face of this surgery forever. He went on to explain that by June 7 (my surgery date!), he fully intended to have developed software that would be able to be used with MRI technology in the operating room, during my surgery, giving them a precise indication of success on the spot. The vastly improved knowledge would result what he believed to be the first of its kind in our country.
(God’s word to us: “See, my beloved?”)
My heart screamed gratitude to my blessed Father. He didn’t take away my need for the surgery or the seriousness of the procedure, or the pain of recovery. He simply did exceedingly, abundantly more than we could ever ask or imagine! Oh, how I love Ephesians 3:20! Don’t ever tell me He isn’t personal. He knew my words professed trust. He knew I claimed peace. He also knew my heart was anxious of one thing...the post-operative risks. Our waiting made a way for an answer to a prayer we never thought to utter.
June 7: Surgery completed with technology beyond what the doctors had previously ever had access to. (As a side note, neurosurgeon #2 also texted our friend who pleaded with us to cancel our first surgery to let her know the profound impact she ultimately had on my care. Wow.)
June 9: Left hospital 2-3 days ahead of schedule and the healing begins. Wanna guess God’s word to me right now? Yes, “Wait.” Healing will come, eventually. Pain will subside in time. Strength will return. He is with me always.
“Wait on the Lord; Be of good courage, And He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the Lord!” Psalms 27:14
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